All I really want is;

To be your first call when things go good and bad,

To trust that you have my back and you will stand by the promises you make.

The truth in this world full of pretence and hypocrisy,

To be the Halo that illuminates on your darkest days, to bring calm to you storms

To not make a fool of myself when I think about the future we could have

Your embrace, it has a way of making things right, dark days bright, and heavy burdens just a stage,

That the nights we spend will be ours that no one will explore your body like I do, that they wont have your attention easily

All I want is you to know that I have been through hell and back. That I fight battles you know nothing about every damn day, that I cry even when I smile, that not all “I’m okay” are usually true

The thoughts of me to make you smile and give you good memories,

to have you in my corner even when we fight, our loyalty remains,

I want your heart to be mine, yes I am possessive, and sensitive, and hard headed, and that, that wont stop you from loving me any less

to be treated like the grown up im becoming, that I will have your truth, that I will know when dynamics change, that I will not give everything to someone who doesn’t even need it

All I want is to go back in time, to change the fact that I met you, that I even got excited at the sight of you, that you were once my favorite notification, that I gave myself to you, with everything, but since I cant all I want is to get past it, to forget how much I hate you now, to forget that you were ever my favorite, to not feel a damn thing when I see you, to even ignore your presence,

to be numb, to all the feelings you arise in me. I hate you as much as I liked you,
I want you to know that you I gave in to you, because you seemed different, but now I see that; I wanted you to be different

No I needed you to be different because I would be damned if;

I chose wrong again,

if I picked a common hoe and gave him my pearls,

if I was just another name in his long list of conquests,

I was that stupid to not see he was full of shit,

If I had to piece myself back together after I’m in a million pieces like shattered glass

Good thing is,

The pain was a good lesson,

Not a really pleasant one but good enough 💯