When people say they’ve moved on,

What do they really mean?

Like do you not care anymore?,

are you okay with what happened?

Or does it mean that it stopped hurting?

Or that you’re now okay with everything..,

Not waking up to that person, not hearing from them in days,

seeing them with other people,

knowing that they’re probably Soo okay without you,

and that you prolly never mattered in the first place

When you move on, do you not care why they did what they did?

Do you not care about closure no more,

Or does it mean that you’re trying to stay strong…each day,

Because if it’s hurt we are talking about;

then moving on must be harder than anything else

Because on some days, it hurts,

On others, I wanna beat the shit outta his ass

On other days…I really don’t care,

On some…oh my God..I miss him

On others, I wanna cry.., and I actually do,

So someone please tell me..at what point do you really move on?

Also anyone wants to drink their sorrows down ..

Halla at your giirrrlll,🥂

Only YOU matter to YOU and those around you

Let me break it down a bit more;You see,

the universe with all the systems, stars, void spaces its all made up of?..that universe doesn’t give a shit about you.and that is literally the title of a book by Johnny Truant.i mean its too big to care and its has too much going on within itself already to attend to you.

So you know what you have: YOU

,And second guessing and cowering doesn’t change the fact that time is moving and you’re getting old and you will die😂😂

People who get spooked at the thought of them dying at just hillarious; because we all will.,

We are all subject to the same constants of the universe and that is time

With each passing day..your time train takes you further and further from home or closer to home..whichever way you chose to look at it and whatever it is you consider home

Everytime you limit yourself simply because you feel like doing things differently and thinking outside the box will upset the universe because its delicate,

I’m here to tell you that’s a whole load of crap BS!!!

That you can’t be ridiculous because first impressions last forever 😂😂And that you can’t fail because you’d be ruined forever,😂😂

you won’t die .. you’ll probably feel stupid like really stupid 😂(you know like how you spend days drooling at someone who doesn’t even see you😅😅)then;

you’ll be so proud that you wrote that book,that you hosted an event that only two people showed up

But heey…you hosted an event.🥁🥁.

i would be terrified at the thought of hosting people..who need food and entertainment 😂😂😂😒where do you even start tho🤪

Nothing is permanent not even that tattoo you went for because when you return to dust..ooh booy.. goes right with you😂
So you have now, THINK NOW!😅you’re too small in this universe to do a job you hate, to procastinate that bucket list and to be timid about what you want.So whatever it is you want you just have to grab it and live it

If you want to be awesome then do awesome things, if you want to be a leader do some leading

Do epic shit to be an epic person

And Noble things to be a noble person

Because in essence nobility is valued by your actions

Bad people do bad things and nice people; nice things
Now there are times when bad people do nice things, and in that moment they are passed off as nice and vice versa

So be WHATEVER! Embrace the anarchy

The universe doesn’t hate you nor does it love you

It also won’t give you what you want and it won’t stop you either💯It’s all YOU

Tidings as y’all go out there to be the best versions or the most cunt version of yourselves🥂🥂

To the dads that are fathers..,we know it’s not easy but thank you,To them that chose to stay for the good and bad,To those that are teaching their sons to be honourable men,To those that show their daughters the kind of men they should loveAnd most of all to those that love their kids mum’s to death, you’ve earned your children’s love for life; because kids love you according to how you love their mum..trust me,To them that teach their kids to trust themTo the dad’s that are their kids first calls when things go right or wrong,You deserve an awardTo the dads that are not theirs kids call, it’s your faultTo the dad’s that showed their kids the ugliest side of life.. God forgiveTo those that gave their family restless nights,To them that made their wives cry the presence of their kids..God is watchingTo those that cared less about their families..you should never have been a dad in the first placeTo those that hardly know what’s happening in their childrens lives simply because they never bothered to have a bond with their kids, you deserve karma in all her gloryTo the sons that turned out to be as ruthless as their fathers, simply because that’s the best example they gotBreak that cycle..for your own kids,To those daughters with Daddy issues they can’t get over.,To those daughters that feel like they have to carry the burden of all that..i honestly still haven’t found the ultimate cure., Other than accepting that when other kids were kids..you had to grow up too fast, you had to see things you shouldn’t have, you had to worry about things that don’t even concern you,That you are in a constant battle with yourself, trying to love and forgive the man who should have been your protector., The man who should have been your first love.,That on some days,,y’all have a good time as father and daughter or sonAnd that on some days you remember some things and you could care less whether he breathes the next minute.,That on some days you hate yourself.,for wishing his absence was permanent rather than the three/four days he’d take to himself and his hoesThat there are days you lay awake at night crying yourself to sleep, because what else is there., I’d like to say you’ll get over it, but honestly I don’t know..all I know I that it gets easier with time.,You get to understand or atleast try toAnd i pray that one day we’ll all get over the traumas passed down to usAnd the day I will see my kids love for their dad ❤️ grow,To the point that my sons will aspire to be like him and my daughter’s will want a love like the one their parents have..,I just know that I’ll definitely cry.,And I pray that, that love for his kids, and our love will grow to weather all storms.,And most of all, because I know I’ll have given them better than I had,That I’ll know they won’t cry themselves to sleep because of me or their dadThat I will have eventually broken that cycleAnd I hope you all do too!🥂🥂

i miss him

And yes I know its pathetic, 🙄

But I do..I’m in such a funk.. it’s so weird

And I’m.about to give such a shitty explanation: I miss the old him🤣🤣but yes I do

He was nice, and such a gentleman..uuh the late night calls😏 these calls are a bitch!!,😋😋😍getting you all confused and shit..

And the sex,😏💦uuh daamn..we were each other sluts in all ways🙉🙉😉

And then the cuddles..another bitch

They were so warm.,

And then it happened like it always does..he moves..onto his next chase🙄🤣🤣it’s to a point..yaani..

It’s cool btw..enda tu

And yes I miss him..

The one that really did love me..,

But you know how that goes..,

I didn’t..he wanted a family,

Kids..to meet my parents 🤣🤣🤣🤣this is the part that really got to me🤣🤣meet my who??hahaha loooool

Anyway I ghosted.,

And then the fling …my eye candy😋or so I thought 😒

I liked him too much, too soon and deep down I knew it would end bad..soo bad that’ll fight so hard to forget

..that every time I’d see him I’d remember , just how stupid i was to give him my time and also just how stupid I’m being missing him

And then there’s this one .

This particular one,hes sweet, and funny, but then oh well..😣😰

We’re in that gamble stage.,and it’s like he’s gambling elsewhere soo okay..

And did I mention the one that likes me but there’s no spark and

i just don’t like his grammar😣🤣i know, i know…but I can’t look past it

Wish i could like him though..,

He seems nice, I think

But then again given the choices I make in men,🤪🤪weeeellll I dunno.. he’s probably like the rest..

How do y’all just get emotionless…i need that.,

No,. I desperately need it..,and who knows a fortune teller..that can tell me at what age I’m going to find love.,so I can just be an existing rock till then..

I’ve had too many imaginary weddings with people..I’m not even talking to🤣🤣🤣

😂😂😂

Let me just get to the point.. becauuseeee🥁🥁

Haha..I’m so excited to talk about this!

And yes it’s about guys and girls and social behavior 😂

If you’re the type of people that like crowds to just observe what people are doing sometimes in a social setting. ,😅Then you know watching guys watching girls,,and vice versa is soo interesting

And seeing girls fall for it..that’s if they do😏 is so exciting 😂😂

So just the other day..I was having the worst day at work..oh my God🤪 I was literally at the verge of a meltdown and a fight, and i wanted chocolate, and a really comforting hug,😭and drugs😅 if anyone popped up with drugs rest assured I wouldn’t even fight it,I would dive in 🤣🤣

So after work went to my chill spot😋😏

And tbh..,that was the first place I smiled after a day of crying a little and fighting the urge to cry alot 😂

My crush😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩daaamn…*sigh* isn’t it funny how happy someone can make you.,that despite a bad day.,all you do is smile.. ofcourse I wanted to go extra..and jump on him for a hug..,🤣🤣but ofcourse I didn’t..so imagination is all you get..,🤣

And the whole time we were just talkin was amazing..until another crush popped up🤣🤣.

Guys are so interesting..these niggas were just giving each other dirty looks , and then looking at me for some explanation..which ofcourse 🤣🤣I smiled my way through it all..

And also got kinda turned on.,I won’t lie I’m such a hard head when it comes to guys🤣😒but I love it every woman loves being wanted..being the center of attention..we don’t necessarily live on it..but we like living in the moment of it😉😏

So my crush left my other crush🙉 and I with our chitchats

So when I was leaving..😭fuck curfew btw

I then saw a trio just walking..2 guys and a girl…she was on one end..one guy sandwiched..then the other…well you get it🤣,

So wakitembea..the chic was mostly on her phone.(.talking to prolly another guy..)with the tone she had; it was definitely another guy, 🤣 so the guy on the far end.,was stealing glances..he made my day when he literally pretended to tie his laces just to get a good view of the jiggling bum 🤣

I literally burst out🤣 guys are usually so sneaky..and so interesting to watch..

This has to be my greatest guilty pleasure.. literally💦💦

Anytime you’re in a social setting..try it..you’ll see people in such a different light 🥂

I am a woman, in all my Glory

I nurture, I love, I forgive,I take so h crap, buy because I am a woman,

I thug it out, because I am fierce, and strong, and made of a strong woman too

But society🙄, and it’s rules and it’s stereotypes

Just because I don’t want marriage I a whore,

Just because I don’t want kids, I am empty, barren, cursed,

That despite my achievements, and dreams if I don’t have a home 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 then i am these modern women who can’t keep a man😂

That just because I have a smart mouth and I’m not bossed around then I’m a hot headed girl who wasn’t raised right..

That just because I don’t believe it when a man says they’ll love me forever then I’m.too picky and will never settle,

That’s exactly my problem, SETTLE that word.,

What if I don’t want to settle

What if I don’t believe all the lies men tell because they all leave anyway

What if I don’t believe in marriage because of the ones I’ve seen and

Of the women who keep saying marriage is stressful, take your time as a single girl

What if I don’t really care about my biological clock

What if I don’t want kids because of a bad experience I’ve had,a miscarriage perhaps that torments my soul and the thought of pregnancy literally send me sprawling out

What if I don’t want kids because I don’t feel capable enough of raising a kid or because I don’t want noise in my house or just that I’m.not ready

Are my reasons invalid just because society says.

You know what, FUCK society

I am a woman, in all my Glory

And I will go for whatever makes me happy,

I will achieve my goals,

I will hoe around if that’s what I want

After all, I too am a sexual being, with sexual appetite and sexual skills to diaoy

We say empowerment but we don’t talk bout the unspoken rules.. or rather the constraints,

That I can be successful just not too much, because it’ll intimidate men who want me

FUCK you..,if you’ll be intimidated by a strong woman, then You don’t have the balls..

Strong women are for strong men,with balls big enough to handle all sides of her,

That I can’t be ratchet because men are the only ones with that right,

That I can’t ask too many questions😂😂

If I do get kids.. I’ll raise my girls to be invincible, to grow up defying all odds

That all that truly matters is what makes them happy

I love so many things about different people, some are true sweethearts, others have more charisma..others teach you, some bring out the best in you and the cunts🤪🙄oh well those bring out the worst in you😒🤮it’s kind of their job..and the stupid ones..my God don’t get me started on this type.

Anyway just the other day..after work, was doing some shopping, and I accidentally hit a woman with my bag.and she thought she was the one at fault .and we said alot of sorrys to each other..,tbh I love courteous people just second to nature.

And I’m mortified by people with no ounce of respect,

And if you’re one we can’t rhyme, because respect is the easiest thing to give, a simple “excuse me” to that waitress or “a sorry” to that cleaner, or a thank you ..these simple things go such a long way.,

It’s until you’re on the other side of the desk that you see how far courtesy goes.

Be the nice person in a world full of cunts

Tbh I don’t know why it gets easier, to find the kick to write when something crazy, annoying happens

You know much like Adelle 😂where she gives us fire albums after her breakups🤩,

When we are happy and so in love it’s such a bliss, you’re so wrapped up in that phase, the honeymoon, that all you want is to make them happy, and I know it sounds as lame as a broken record, but that’s how we are wired, women feel sense of self depending on the status of their relationships while men get the sense of self from their achievements, and that’s how it is.,we are wired that way., Where we are impulsive, they are logical.,

And it’s unfair, why weren’t they the emotional bitches and us the maucho mamas 😒, because we fall too fast for the most little things.,and tbh I personally hate it, feeling all mushy while they could just be playing a chess game and ofcourse he wins.,more often than not.

And after he get the prize he’s onto the next game.,

Again it’s men, it’s the chase, it’s the game and nothing gives them more thrill than that., And that’s what works against us..,because it can just be a game for them., And you have a wedding planned😂btw guys..if she’s really smitten; oh 😏😋 boy.., you’ve definitely had a wedding*don’t even argue*.., 😂, they’ve definitely stripped you in their heads alot😂 they’ve cussed you out in their heads for silly things you did or didn’t do😂and it’s usually such fun phase😂😂

I bet you now have someone in mind already, 😏

So now that you do..,

let’s talk second chances; more like the million chances you gave him because you fell for all the lies, oh the marinated sweet lies, that get you apologising for things you didn’t even do😉 yess those lies..that get you horny all.over again for the same fucker you wanted to kill.,😂😂whatever guys are using out here its working..,😂

(until it doesn’t😌)

And that part👆 is usually the best,

When you’re out of that phase with all the excitement, the thrill, and fights..the make ups. The badshit crazy things we do😂😂😅

Tbh there are fights I miss sometimes,.that fiesty part of the cycle because they show you care; you know..mnakasirikiana kidogo😂you miss each other.,spice it up💦, get back..😂you know how it goes..and I’m not saying you won’t catch feelings..,you will 💯at some point then lose them, then catch them again😂😂😂we are together I know💗😂😂yess

But that part when you’re okay with just the memory..when you’ve learnt the lesson they were destined to teach is the ultimate release..,

There times though, we have to let go of someone we don’t really want to.., and it sucks yess., But TRUST there’s definitely a reason., And it’s mostly for your own good, a way to protect your energy.,but you’ll see that later.,

And laugh at how stupid you were crying over people you should have never let close to your soul in the first place.,

Ofcourse there the good ones., And when you get to experience a good one, you’ll know, mainly because he’ll show you, he’ll maintain his consistency to keep winning you, and also because it will feel different, he will be different.

So when you feel confused just know they’re not the kind of good you need., do yourself the favour and just 🚀🚀,

😘💗Have a lovely weekend 😘

Nothing like the days you wake up in a bit of a funk and well you see everything looking bright and all, but you just don’t feel okay, then it happens..in the worst environments, in front of the worst people and you can’t really explain why you’re crying because mainly it’s none of their business and also you’re already too into it to even talk.,

So yes, he left,. my favorite 😭left without even a proper bye, I learnt about it the very day he was taking the flight,.and shit it hurt for some reason it hurt so bad, is still feel numb, like didn’t I deserve a proper by..I mean you were leaving me for God knows how long, and we hadn’t even straightened out our issues..don’t get me wrong..I’m happy you’re going for greener pastures, couldn’t be more proud, but 😭😭😭😭still..,it’s true what they say.,you miss it when it’s gone, I always knew you made me happy..stupid happy, so the minute I knew you’d be gone.,Everything came back..from how you smiled to how stupid you were sometimes, and the rag of bit seeing that..I, just can’t😭

I can only wish you well, and pray for two things, that you’ll get what you’re loking for and so will I,

This fucking feels like a breakup..,or is my QLC hitting too hard , but no, its you leaving..and I’m honestly damned if I keep up with the misery, and lose sight of myself, it’s honestly time to put myself first, in everyway.,

Because even the solace I thought I had, is evidently a little too busy recruiting and hitting things off🙄and for some reason on that day..when everything went dark for me, the little light I thought would illuminate also went to be the shining armor somewhere., And in my clouded judgement, what made me think of the solace, made more sense that my own broken pieces were exactly that Mine to fix,mine to deal with.., I mean they’ve always been mine, it’s just that this time I honestly didn’t think I could., But ofcourse being the queen I am..my crown is mine to straighten, after a storm comes 2 things;

Calm and a survivor,

A survivor who is getting better at saving herself, and I couldn’t be prouder of her💋💗